Hi This is Heather From the…..

“Hello…this is Heather from the warranty department….” the recording begins. Sometimes it is the warranty department, sometimes the mysterious Heather is from card services, but it is always Heather. My question is….who the hell is Heather?!!

Year after year I go to the government’s “Do Not Call” website and diligently enter my cell number, a tradition that I have been following for years, but no matter how many times I do it, Heather is there. She calls me in the morning, she calls me at lunch, she calls me during my favorite movie, even when I am eating dinner. When she calls me from the “warranty department”, it is always about a vehicle that I traded in on a new one three vehicles ago. When she calls from card services, of course in her best recorded “Heather” voice, she starts off with…”There is no problem with your account right now, but….”

Heather doesn’t listen though, and she is sneakier than any Heather anyone has ever tried to avoid. She never calls from the same number twice, and she is very good at making those numbers she calls from appear to be in the 318 area code. She is relentless. She is cold. Almost machine like.

Heather, wherever you are, and I hope to God you are reading this….Heather you robo-calling @*&%$ing $#@%! Leave me alone!

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